“What do you do when it’s 115 outside and you can’t hike or run?”
At least that’s what I was asked about a half dozen times this past week. There is, undoubtedly, some truth to that question.
Is 115 degrees hot? Certainly.
Is it uncomfortable? Absolutely.
Do I still hike and run? The answer is… yes, and yes.
I love the outdoors, enjoy to hike, and relish in running. I’ve noticed that, if I don’t hike or run regularly, my skill level and aptitude for hiking/running doesn’t stay at its peak. Instead, it declines – until, that is, I get myself on a regular practice routine again.
And then, finally, it’ll start growing again.
Growth requires movement.
Growth also requires action.
Sometimes, that action is sweat, discomfort, the occasional tear, pain, and frustration.
We are designed to grow. That is what we are meant to do. Growth makes us healthy, it helps us to be wise/wiser, and should make us happy. When we set goals to learn, achieve and improve on ourselves, we experience growth in the process of reaching those goals we have set.
Growth requires dedication, determination, consistency, and certainly, a mindset.
Being deliberate about doing things that push your limits magnificently. Difficulty helps you grow. Discomfort helps you grow.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone forces you to challenge your limitations and grow in new ways.
Take, for example, hiking and running in the 115 degree heat. It’s hard – painstakingly hard. It’s also lonely – after all, good luck trying to get others to go with you, it’s just not happening.
I mean, who goes out in that weather to hike?
By stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself in that environment, it challenges you in ways you may never have imagined. It forces you to adapt to the heat, hydrate adequately, and challenge yourself to climb mountains, steep inclines, and rocky trails when you may never have thought you could do it at all.
Discomfort is a catalyst for growth.
Unfortunately, many people just don’t grow. They are comfortable where they are and they remain stunted.
Their lack of growth leads to discontentment, relationship issues, poor physical health. At the end of the day, it’s definitely easier for people to stay out of that sunny, hot weather and be inside their cool air conditioning – but then they remain stagnant.
Certainly, you can stay home in comfort – but is it going to stretch you in ways that experiencing a new, challenging environment are?
Definitely not.
Instead of taking a huge leap, they’ll take an easier step and play out the more comfortable route – thinking that they’ll grow. But you won’t truly have significant growth until you make significant changes.
While growth is definitely uncomfortable, not growing is worse.
You may lose everything – in fact, you might lose things many times.
The last four years of my life has marked the most significant growth in all of my 40+ years of life. But… it has also marked more loss than gain.
Losing everything forces you to become hungry. It’s almost an accelerator of growth rather than a limiter. It could have led me to depression but instead, it was a catalyst for bigger, and better things.
Throughout the last few years, I have been the underdog.
I didn’t have huge sums of money to live. I certainly did not have the nicest of things. I didn’t have money for continued therapy, and more times than not, I was alone – to deal with my thoughts and introspect.
I didn’t have family or friends to support or be a listening ear.
And I certainly didn’t have any family or friends to help me take care of five demanding children. I had my own self employment that was barely getting by, and periods of time where I doubted my confidence more times than not.
Looking from the outside in, I was categorized as that single mother of 5 that probably made bad choices. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, years later, with the following voices echoing in my mind:
“You’ll never make it on your own!”
“You’re a stupid piece of shit, you don’t deserve to be a fucking mother!”
“You’re going to fail! You’re going to fail and you’re not going to be able to support your children.”
“You’re never going to find anyone who wants someone as pitiful as you!”
Four years later: one thing stands out.
I am definitely stronger, not weaker.
I became determined to make it. As someone who has always been a high performer in all areas of my life, I channel any doubt and anger into fuel for motivation.
Groth became my mind game.
Your mind doesn’t always want you to grow. It wants you to be safe, be comfortable. Your mind wants reassurance, predicability, safety, support.
To grow you have to train your mind – every single day.
Transform the negative with positive, useful thoughts. Sometimes, that means cutting yourself off of everything and everyone – the news, social media, other people, family members, even friends.
To not cut yourself off is to pollute your mind with someone else’s agenda, thoughts of you, plans for you. Those things waste your potential.
It’s far too easy to stay comfortable. I stayed comfortable for 18 years in a toxic marriage. I numbed the pain of unhappiness, constant put downs, disrespect and manipulation by staying home, working more, taking on more projects and putting every bit of energy I had into my children.
I lived like that for far too long. I was scared of being uncomfortable. I was scared of the unknown, the unpredictability, having to lose what I worked hard for.
But one day, something hit me. I needed to be honest with myself and get out of the toxic situation I was in. Even if that meant discomfort.
Because not taking action was definitely worse – it was affecting my physical and mental health, and my outlook on life.
I did the most drastic of things and filed for divorce. And then, I started hitting the trails.
I had, in the past, hit the trails.
But this time, I hit the trails with an even bigger determination. What started as 45 minute hikes led to several hour trips to the mountains. Before you know it, I was tackling the most challenging of hikes in the entire state.
And trails I wouldn’t have normally hiked or ran started to look easy. So I added them to my repertoire.
I tackled hikes at 4:30 a.m., and shifted my days to accommodate the sunrise, then sunset. And now, in the heat of the summer, I’m enjoying basking in the 115 degree heat as a lone wolf on the trails of the mountains when everyone else is on their sofa or in their comfortable air conditioning.
What happens when you don’t grow?
If you wake up in the morning with no sense of purpose or direction, you’ll end up reverting back to your old, unproductive habits.
And you’ll be stagnant in life.
No growth = no purpose.
When you have a purpose and meaning to your life, it’s hard not to grow. Looking back, it’s embarrassing to see the person I was 5-10 years ago – comfortable, stagnant in life and complacent.
True growth requires some time in discomfort.
Sometimes, that means being alone.
Sometimes, that means doing things that are hard, make you sweat, and make you uncomfortable.
As I approached the counter in the post office late last week with a load of packages, I heard the clerk:
“You just never stop do you? You’re one dedicated person to be out there every day in this weather.”
You are your habits. Your mind is a reflection of your habits.
Your body is a reflection of your habits.
Growth costs nothing but a mindset to commitment.
It costs nothing to be kind. It certainly doesn’t cost anything to think long term.
To grow requires optimism.
There’s no other barrier aside from your own effort and mindset.
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