The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you’ve been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines.
You may not have seen it coming. Maybe you did, but you didn’t want to believe it. The pain of it being “over” just hit you… and it hurts. Massively. Nobody could have prepared you for the blow of losing what was there.
I hold back my tears and sadness so that people don’t see them. I hold them back because I’m tired of crying – but even if I did show them, nobody would care. I am so tired of crying. I’ve cried way too much for a lifetime, I just don’t want to even try anymore. It’s hard to understand why I love so hard yet that love is not reciprocated. It’s hard to understand how I can spend so much time and effort to make myself available for someone, help them feel loved, special, seen, heard, and yet inherently receive no response in reciprocation.
I tell myself “real pure love is giving without reciprocity”.
But to a certain extent, I want to be loved and needed with the same fierce feeling that I give. I want someone who values me as much as I value them. I want someone to give just as much of themselves as I would give for them.
But love doesn’t exist if they aren’t willing to commit an act where they risk losing you. Deep down I know that I am a person capable of risking it all for someone I loved dearly.
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