Just because someone has a gorgeous heart and a gentle nature doesn’t mean they’re naive or fragile.
You don’t know the type of chaos it took someone to be that calm. Never confuse kindness for weakness.
Those people have survived the hardest battles.
Ever since I was a small child, the value of kindness was always discussed as one of the things that can and will carry us far in life. Not only can kindness enhance our own lives it can have an effect on the people we come into contact with on a daily basis.
It can also have a profound effect on our relationships through life as well.
It wasn’t until I got older that I started to notice that not everyone sees the value of being kind. Some people see the value of kindness as a weakness and way to take advantage of you.
Especially if you have ever been in a relationship with someone who shows narcissistic patterns of behavior.
The hardest lesson I have had to learn is that people will try to take advantage of your kindness. I do remember, very candidly, one particular experience that confirmed this to me.
Several years ago, after many attempts to make my marriage work, something deep within me snapped. One day, I couldn’t “not see” how toxic my marriage was. Once that day comes, every day thereafter can’t be seen any other way. I realized, on this day, that my spouse did not have any love for me.
Moreover, he had no desire to make our marriage work.
It was, in other words, a marriage on paper – a marriage of convenience. For him, I was nothing more than a maid, chauffeur for the kids, house cleaner, cook and fixer of all things broken on the home. He was free to come and go as he pleased, without any responsibility to being a father or a spouse. He wanted the convenience of being married, without the responsibilities that a marriage and fatherhood entailed.
We were two separate people, with absolutely nothing in common.
On this particular day, I uncovered what he truly thought about me, as everything that had built up in his heart came pouring out, plain as day. He attacked my kindness – he saw it as a form of weakness, vulnerability, and stupidity.
It was at that moment that I realized that some people will see your kindness as a weakness. They will use it in any way they can to put themselves ahead in life. These people are opportunists.
An opportunist views kind people as a target.
An opportunist lives in a world that is every-man (or, woman0 for themselves. They have no shame. They have no sense of humanity. They sleep beautiful, not caring that they, themselves, are brutal. They view it as another “I win, you lose”.
Unfortunately, for every kind person in the world, there is at least one opportunist trying to exploit them.
Those opportunists will always exist in the world – however, the best course of action is to ensure that they don’t take advantage of you – unless of course, you let them.
It can be so easy to stop being kind to everyone you meet when you encounter an opportunist. The most important thing to remember, however, is that we need kind people in the world, now more than ever. Imagine how much better our world would be if everyone treated others with love and kindness?
Not only does kindness gives you a more optimistic outlook on life, it gives you personal power – kindness can help you accomplish great things.
Let an opportunist see your kindness; don’t allow them to abuse it.
Don’t allow an opportunity rob you of your ability to show kindness to others – instead, redefine their understanding of your kindness. Show an opportunist that you are a pillar of strength even when they refuse to see your light. If that means severing that relationship with that person to preserve your boundaries then that is something you may have to examine further.
The only way they can take advantage of your ability to show kindness is if you allow them to.
Practice cultivating compassionate boundaries in both your personal and professional life. Learn to honor what is true, to you, in a kind way ~ compassion at work can create an entire revolution of greater kindness and well-being.