Every day I hike this mountain in the dark, at 5 a.m. Peeling myself out of a warm bed at 4:30 a.m. isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s downright hard, especially when it’s cold outside. Even more when it’s raining or windy.
But I do it anyways.
And I hike up this mountain.. half a mile up a steep incline and uneven trail, covered in rocks, boulders and unmentionables. Most mornings, I’m there by myself (at least I think I am). Some mornings, there are others who make that same commitment to themselves.
I return, to that same mountain, 12 hours later and do the same hike. One mile up and down, repeated 3 times. At least six miles in a day, every day of the week.
It’s definitely not easy – but I made that commitment in my mind to do this every day regardless of the weather pattern and regardless of what else is going on, how much work I have to catch up on and whether or not I have the kids. I am there, as a commitment to myself.
As I made the climb this week, I thought about the challenges of going up that uneven trail of boulders and loose rocks. Some hikers have paved a flatter, more predicable path on the side to avoid going up the regular trail of boulders and rocks. The path is still steep, but it’s flat. You don’t have to navigate the challenges of a very rocky, steep trail of huge boulders nor do you have to risk stepping incorrectly and spraining your ankle.
It’s a flat path.
As tempted as I am to take that path, there are advantages to taking the path less traveled (aka – the rocky, uneven path pictured above).
What’s good for us isn’t always easy.
And what’s good for us isn’t always joyful. Nor is it pleasant.
Climbing the rocky, challenging path of boulders is not easy. In fact, it’s quite grueling. It’s hard on the ankles, tiring to the lungs, and it leaves worry – step incorrectly and you’ll be pent up for weeks while your ankle heals.
But climbing the more challenging path of boulders is a better workout. It helps develop stronger quads, strengthens your hips, glutes, and lower body, and elevates your heart rate. It helps keep your mind sharp, as you work quickly to navigate your foot steps through the huge, rocky boulders. It’s strength.
It helps you grow as a person. Your stamina won’t improve unless you challenge yourself appropriately.
And yet still – despite the fact that the rocky path is better for your fitness goals, most people tend to navigate to the flat, predictable path off to the side. The path without any roadblocks… the path that doesn’t require much effort.
Would I have chosen the more challenging path several years ago? Hard to say. But I may have likely ventured into what was easy, what was comfortable and what didn’t require much effort.
It takes time, considerable time, to learn how to be attracted to what’s good for us.
It’s Much Like Being in a Toxic Relationship.
The rocky path full of boulders and uncertainties is similar to what you may face if you leave your toxic relationship.
The flat path, the one that’s easier to climb, is staying in that relationship.
Obviously, the flat path (staying) is the more comfortable choice. You have financial security, a house, kids, someone that you are “comfortable” with. You might not be entirely happy there, you may not have true emotional connection or the intimacy of your dreams – but you are (in essence) comfortable.
The flat path, the one without rocks, is a hike. Certainly so. It is a “comfortable” hike. It may not build your quads like the rougher, more challenging path. You may not like the end result (lesser lower body strength), but you keep hiking it because it’s comfortable. Predictable. In addition, you can still proclaim to the world via social media that you are hiking … “look! I’m hiking!” – kind of like being married… pictures and trips to show that you are indeed “taken” – but deep down, you know that it’s not where you really want to be. You know you should be doing more to whip yourself into shape (or, if you are in a toxic marriage or relationship, you know you are capable of bigger things).
Being in a toxic relationship absent of true emotional connection, intimacy and love is difficult. But so is leaving any relationship.
No matter what kind of relationship you are in, leaving ANY relationship is hard. There are shared memories, financial implications, personal challenges, the list goes on.
It’s so very similar to climbing this mountain, especially climbing this mountain in the dark at 5 a.m. You have two trails – one, is uneven, rocky and littered with boulders and big rocks. The other is predictable – it’s flat, easy, and while it might not benefit you long term, it’s there. And it doesn’t put up much resistance. It may take just as much energy and strength to walk up that mountain on the flat, more paved trail…. but long term, it’s not beneficial unless it forces some type of growth and challenge within you.
Why Choose Easy?
Change is scary. Comfort is easy. And sometimes, being too comfortable can lead to your own self destruction. People want change, but sometimes they are not willing to step out and challenge themselves to put themselves first.
With a shift in mindset, experience and expectation, the resources you used to stay and blind out the hopelessness can be used to propel you forward into something bigger, and better.
The only way to be okay with leaving what you have is to fully understand how broken it is.
And yes – it’s SO easy to take the more comfortable path in lieu of making a life change that is challenging, scary, hard, and yes – sometimes uncertain. Sometimes you will feel as if you have nothing… there are days that you may question your decision. Personal growth never happens unless you move out of your comfort zone.
What’s best for you is never easy – that more challenging trail, the one filled with boulders, uneven steps and uncertainty will help you develop the wisdom, courage, and strength to propel you into your own life.
Only You Can Decide What Path to Take
You can take the more challenging path that will help you develop strength, and courage, or the comfortable, more predictable path that “feels good”, but doesn’t spark personal growth nor help you reach new personal goals within.
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