“Nobody’s perfect… I’m certainly not perfect!”
Please, please stop. If there’s one thing that ticks me off, it’s hearing those words.
The only people who have to justify a poor situation and poor behavior always roll out the perfection and baggage arguments.
Let’s get something straight – at face value, nobody is perfect.
It’s true, you know… no human is perfect and we certainly are not designed to be.
If there is one thing that being in and observing relationships has taught me, it’s that we have a very disoriented way of pitching a very unfortunate situation in efforts to make it more palatable.
This gives us an excuse to remain invested, giving, in something in that indeed detracts from us – otherwise, we would have to make decisions.
Hard decisions.
Hard decisions that require us to take action.
When you use those words, you are denying, reutilizing, minimizing and making excuses for YOUR poor behavior. You are making exceptions for OTHERS who have poor behavior.
I am, with 100% certainty, a firm believer that those who are in deeply fulfilling relationships with real, true love, care, trust, and compassion do not repeatedly say .. “but nobody’s perfect!”
Only people who have to justify a poor situation – or, their poor behavior, roll out the perfection and baggage arguments.
Nobody is perfect – and the majority of people know and fully accept this. We all have some level of baggage.
But some is not compatible with a healthy relationship.
The more excuses you make, the more you have to understand that you are making justifications and excuses that are dangerous – this is how people get and remain in unhealthy relationships. This is also how some avoid personal responsibility for improving their life, towards themselves, others, especially those closest to them.
None of us will ever be perfect. In fact, we shouldn’t ever seek perfection because it’s elusive – however, it’s critical for us to have standards and not project.
When you argue with others about nobody being perfect and everyone having baggage, you are over empathizing by your own reasoning that you aren’t perfect and that you have baggage.
So you feel it’s harsh for others to judge someone for the same thing.
But.. others aren’t judging you.
They just don’t want to continue to tolerate poor behavior – stonewalling, projecting, gaslighting, ignoring, and ghosting.
Nor do they want to hear excuses as to why you believe your behavior is justified. It is never justified.
As a betrayed spouse, I can’t even mention how many times I heard “nobody’s perfect” from my ex husband – in his attempt to project his choices in a way that justified his behavior.
The issue is that he wasn’t married/attached. The issue is that he was married/attached and he was still sneaking around trying to make out as if he was an honest person in a bad situation, while he used me to make up for what he needed so he could have the best of both worlds.
Don’t bullsh*t yourself with justifications as to why you are still holding on to a fruitless relationship.
If you are in an unhappy marriage, then work through your issues, and put yourself wholeheartedly into a relationship.
It’s not a perfection and baggage issue – it’s a willingness and mentality issue.
If you can’t, or have no desire to work out your issues, then leave. Sadly enough, if infidelity is involved, you’re not staying out of love (as you can’t cheat and love, it’s not possible). Which, in turn, means that you are staying out of obligation, finances, fear of being alone, fear of losing, image, or public perception – all poor reasons to try to make something work.
Set limits and have some standards – because, while none of us are perfect, there are plenty of happy, imperfect people that can handle their business to work through their issues without dragging others down at the same time.
I refuse to be the crumbs for someone who can’t decide what they want or don’t want in a relationship.
Crumbs are not an adequate diet…. they do nothing but leave me hurt and hungry.
Nobody’s asking anyone to be perfect. It’s unachievable.
It’s a straw, man.
People should make an effort to improve at things instead of considering incompetence/helplessness/victimhood some type of victory.
It’s a turn off.
Leave a Reply