Just Tell Me

If you’re not serious about me, just tell me. 

When I love, I love hard.

I’m someone who can’t do casual relationships. So if I have gotten to know you, fell hard for you, and have opened up to you, then you are special to me and I can’t imagine a life without you.

But if your intentions are not to love me back, please don’t make promises that you’ll one day commit to me. Please don’t stay up late and tell me you like me, don’t make me feel special.

If you are not ready yet, please tell me. You can be madly in love with someone and not be ready to commit. I feel like people have to be best of friends before lovers and if I have developed a strong, unshakable friendship with you, let my walls down to let you “in” to my world, then you were dearly special to me.

I don’t want anyone to feel forced to love me, so don’t lead me on if you are confused about what you feel.

If you ever feel like I’m too much, just tell me, please. Deep in my heart, I know I over-give… deep down, I’m a loner and perhaps that’s why I tend to distance myself and sometimes feel lost… I’m a hard person to be with. When I love, I love hard and it’s impossible for me not to want to give everything and some to someone I truly care about.

If you find someone else to love, just tell me. I will withdraw. It will be hard for me to handle but I can do it. I won’t be mad at you. Just don’t pretend to love me if you are in love with someone else. I can’t love two people at once… if I have fallen hard for you, you have a place deep within, and I can’t “cancel” you from my heart. Just don’t lie to me that you love me if you are still soul-tied to someone else.

And don’t come and kiss my lips after kissing someone else’s.

If I have fallen in love with you and you don’t feel the same way back, I will be hurt. I will not seek revenge… instead, I’ll slowly drift away. I have no intention of chasing after you to force you to feel a certain way when you can’t.

I’ll just disappear as if I was never in your life and I will learn how to deal with the huge hole in my heart.