When You Care Too Much

 

I’m struggling with this right now. I always thought it was impossible to care too much about someone else.  But I’m beginning to think it’s entirely possible and more destructive to your own well being than caring too little.

Everyone wants someone who cares about them.

At least in theory that’s what they want.

But perhaps they don’t really want that. Perhaps they are happier with someone who doesn’t care enough. Perhaps having someone who cares too much is uncomfortable to them, so they settle with someone who is familiar – who may not care enough but who doesn’t scare them with an overabundance of care.

Let me try to clarify.

I care deeply for the people involved in my life. So much so, that I usually put others emotions before my own. What am I left with? Heartbreak. I’m left with people who truly aren’t available for me when I’m always there and available for them.

I’m left with people who put me on the back burner despite putting everything and more into making sure that they are ok.

I’m beginning to realize that most people generally don’t care or think about the little things that affect us “deep feelers”.

We continuously put others before ourselves and it becomes expected- we are taken for granted.

Pretty soon, you start to feel like you’re second, runner-up, not a priority, not enough, or just … nobody. Friends just use you when they need an ear because you’re genuinely sympathetic to whatever their situation may be.  To others, you’ll always be there. Because you always have been. Until… you’re not. Then you’ll be labeled as the typical uncaring person who gave up. But you didn’t. You were always there. Until they weren’t… or until they didn’t care that you were there.

There’s not much you can do unless you’re willing to change the type of person you are. You can try to care less or stop being so readily available to those who take your caring too much for granted. There’s really no easy way to shut off caring… at least for me it’s not that easy.

This is my own personal experience. I really hope you have someone similar to yourself- someone that truly cares about your feelings. It’s tough being the only deep feeler, caring, warm hearted person. That much I know.