Hurt People

Broken people break people.

Hurt people hurt people.

Choosing to love someone through their pain and trauma does not signify that you are a good person. You can’t change someone who is broken – that broken person is familiar with gaslighting, pain, and trauma. They may think they can love. But in reality, they can’t fully trust, OR fully love.

Broken people crave love more than anything else, yet they run from it at its very sight. They will give you just enough to get you to stay… but they won’t give you much (if anything) of themselves because they know how powerful love can be.

So they will play an endless loop of mind games. I need you, I want you, don’t leave me… but then before you know it, they’re gone. They’ll leave you on read, ghost you or… block you entirely.

They can’t not allow that pain to hurt you or affect you because they have normalized pain in their own lives. They think it’s ok to hurt you because they hurt themselves!

Your job is to love someone who can love you back effectively. Choosing to love someone who can’t be reciprocal with their love, who hasn’t healed before you, is an open invitation to your UNHEALING.

There is no trophy at the end for loving someone who is broken. The result is pain and trauma of being with someone who likely doesn’t care about delivering that pain to you because they haven’t done the work required to heal themselves.

Your job is not to be their therapist, nurse, doctor, or mother.

Don’t unheal yourself.

Don’t think for a second that you will be the person to wake him or her up out of their pain. Don’t think that you’ll get a trophy at the end.

What you will get is years of pain, and a broken heart. You can’t change people, no matter how much love and kindness you throw at them – they haven’t raised their vibration enough to recognize that their pain is hurting those around them.

You can’t change a man, or woman, who hasn’t thought enough about changing before he/she met you.