Forget Perfect

 

I haven’t ever wanted a love that’s perfect. I haven’t ever wanted someone who is perfect, either. Perfect people don’t exist.

I know that.

And I know you know that as well.

I never wanted someone who agrees or fits with me completely on everything, who’s never going to challenge what I say or help me become a better version of myself. I don’t want someone who’s static…

And I definitely don’t want someone who is shallow. I don’t want someone who’s always going to agree with me, nor do I want someone who thinks they are perfect.

I want someone who is human… someone who is flawed. I want someone with inconsistencies, someone who has fears, and someone who has insecurities. Because sometimes I am inconsistent. I have fears, and I have failed more times than I want to admit.

I also have my own insecurities I battle on a daily basis.

Searching or finding the perfect person has NEVER mattered to me. I want someone who, despite those imperfections he has, continues to inspire me day in, and day out. I want someone that I can love fully, without reservation.

I just want YOU.

More than anything, I want you.

I want you with your quirky habits of falling asleep on the phone in the middle of a conversation. I want you, with the tendency to be hard on yourself and find yourself unworthy of love (when you aren’t unworthy at all). I want you, with your indecisiveness in the drive through, your inability to miss the Blake’s burger turnoff not once but twice, and your inability to hear me call your name over the music of your headphones as you walk into a hotel lobby.

I even want you for your ability to make not just one, but all 5 of the kids fall down in the fun house at the fair, and your ability to laugh at yourself for it.

I want you, with your gentle kisses, deep eyes, and soft hands.

I want everything that you come with – your past hurt, long list of fears, and previous trauma. I want the way you are hesitant now about love now, because of your past love experiences.

I want you.

I want you and all the ways you may mess up loving me. Because I know I have messed up loving you sometimes too, especially with my ridiculous insecurities. I want you, even though I know that you are sometimes very scared to let me in, and I want you even when you pull away if I get too close.

I want you, despite your imperfections – because it is those imperfections that have made you YOU, and if you weren’t you, I wouldn’t be so in love with you.

I know that both of us will fight our flaws to come together to love an immeasurable amount.

I don’t want someone to make me the center of the universe.

I just want you.

You, and the way you groan when you eat pumpkin bread. You, and the way you shake with night terrors in your sleep. You, and the way you groan in the shower. You, and the way you mistakingly play the wrong music in the car and try to quick “switch it” to country.

You, and the way you get embarrassed when I grab your hips.

You, and the way you excitedly scratch off lotto tickets only to realize… it’s not a real lotto ticket. 💒

You, with the way you crumble when you open mail that smells like elderberry lotion. You, who takes up an infinite space in my heart. You, with all your quirks and the way you look away when I look at you when we’re together.

I want YOU, and all the things that you do that make you IMPERFECT.

Because never, at any point, did I chase perfection. Not once. Or ever.

I’ve always been chasing you.

And you, are more than enough for me.