It wasn’t until just recently that I realized the sheer amount and brokenness and pain I have experienced in my life.
As a mother, we try to raise kids, earn a living, and take care of those important in our lives and often times wish we had more energy, more sleep and the ability to get more accomplished.
As a partner, we always wonder if we are doing enough. Perhaps not everyone has the same worries, but I know I always worried that I wasn’t doing enough. That somehow, somewhere, I would fail in my futile attempts at caring for those in my life around me.
If you are someone that loves to serve and give to others, and often times finds it challenging to serve yourself, you can get tangled in situations that have you feeling confusion, guilt, and dissatisfaction. Not just dissatisfaction with those around you that you spend time on, but dissatisfaction with yourself – for allowing yourself to get intertwined in situations or relationships that drain your energy and amplify your unresolved hurts.
And when that happens, it’s important to practice self forgiveness. Offer yourself the same compassion and support you would offer to someone you love unconditionally.
You can do this by writing an apology/self forgiveness letter to yourself
Dear Me: I am sorry.
I’m sorry, that you tried, so very hard, to fix others, when your own hands were trembling. I’m sorry, that I didn’t give you ample time to heal. I’m sorry that I allowed you to seal the wounds of others around you while the wounds in your own life were bleeding. I am sorry that there were days when being happy and smiling hurt, but you forced yourself to laugh and smile so that nobody knew how much pain you were struggling with inside. I am sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn’t give you the same time and effort back. I am sorry that there were days that you cried in the shower, or nights that you cried yourself to sleep, and no-one bothered to understand why or even bother to ask. I’m so sorry that you consistently tried to be there for everyone else in time of need but when you needed someone the most, nobody was there for you. I am so sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved.
I am sorry for allowing you to give away parts of yourself to people who hurt you, created toxicity in your life, or failed to reciprocate the love you showed to them.
I am sorry for not allowing you to have the time to you need to take care of you. I am sorry I kept you so busy that you neglected your needs to put the needs of others above your own.
I am sorry for not loving you the way I love others.
With deep love, and gratitude,
Me
Over time, you may realize how hard you were on yourself, and how many times you took on blame that wasn’t yours. Apologizing so much and having impossible expectations on everything you do, say and feel will not help you on your path to healing.
Start with writing an apology and forgiveness letter to yourself; not only will this help to energize you, it will hopefully serve as a healing practice to help transform your mind to be more positive and more powerful.
Leave a Reply